


a world of color

by dogmat



Category: Gintama
Genre: I swear utsuro and shouyou should have the same tag, No Romance, Not Beta Read, Poorly written, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, altana!gintoki, gintoki has altana, like utsuro, that should be a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25154140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogmat/pseuds/dogmat
Summary: Gintoki's world was monochrome until he met Shouyou. altana!gintoki AU
Comments: 6
Kudos: 89





	a world of color

**Author's Note:**

> I first had this idea in 2017, but it went unwritten until my friend started to discuss it after finishing Gintama. So, this is kind of...a big idea jumbled together?
> 
> Agenda:  
> -Shiroyasha alter persona  
> -what if Gintoki was actually beheaded in the fight with Utsuro?  
> -Altana!Gintoki  
> -Gintoki/Shiroyasha single-handedly defeating a whole fleet because why not?  
> -Gintoki actually using sandpaper during the yagyuu arc.
> 
> warning: a lot of REALLY short scenes stuck together into one fic.

He first died by the hands of his father. His second time was his mother.

Stabbed by his father, choked by his mother, he died.

And then he woke up.

Scared and disgusted, his parents caged him inside an empty straw house until a priest came to set him on fire. It was his fifth time dying. 

Nameless and abandoned by his own parents, the boy wondered what was wrong with him. Was it his silver hair? Or was it his red eyes? He sat motionless in the straw house for who knows how. He died two times of starvation in the straw hut until the door opened. He was filled with hope and the light returned to his eyes. His parents were-- weren’t back. It was a man.

And that man set a fire.

He; the demon was four years old. 

His sixth time was when he wandered into a battlefield. The seventh time was the same. The eighth time was no different. By then, he could use the sword well and he was known as the corpse-eating-demon.

“I came here to meet the corpse-eating demon… but you’re too cute to be one.”

For the first time, the ‘demon’ became Gintoki and he stopped dying.

For the first time, the monochrome world he lived in was filled with color.

The demon was four years old. Gintoki was five.

The man who picked him up was Yoshida Shouyou and he had the kindest smile. Light hair and brilliant eyes, Gintoki strived to be like him. Gintoki… Gintoki wanted to be a human like him. For the first time, he hated his unusual coloring. He didn’t want red eyes or silver hair. He wanted--

“So, Gintoki. Stop imitating me and become your own samurai.”

Gintoki thought the paradise he lived in would continue on forever. He thought the fates would finally allow him to live the life he wanted for so long. No, he thought that he would finally be able to live like a normal person. 

A normal person grows. They age, they _live_ , they die.

Gintoki isn’t a normal person, but he wanted to be one. 

Gintoki was attacked when Shouyou was looking for a suitable place to open a temple school. Large burly men appeared in front of him with malicious smiles and Gintoki wanted to do nothing but to ask for the hands of the demon. However, he promised Shouyou that he would fight as a human to protect his soul.

_“From here on, wield the sword not to strike down enemies, but to strike down your own weak self. Wield it not to protect yourself, but to protect your soul."_

So Gintoki died once again in the desolate streets.

That day, Shouyou saw Gintoki. He saw the fatal wounds knit themselves back together. He saw that he was the same as him… and he wanted to protect him.

Shouyou lived his earlier days with never-ending torture and isolation. Gintoki wouldn’t. Gintoki would live his days as a normal child.

“Gintoki.”

Gintoki turned from his seat, his sword nestled comfortably on his shoulder. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his yukata opened. It was apparent that fatal scars never healed. There was a stab wound on his heart, there was light, mostly healed burn scars, and there were several scars near his chest. The latest one was on his abdomen.

“I’m like you, you know,” Shouyou said. “I can’t die.”

The younger boy’s eyes widened at the proclamation.

“The agonizing feeling I had back then… I don’t want you to experience that,” Shouyou whispered. “I want you to live a beautiful life until the end,” he gathered the silver-haired boy into his arms and let him weep.

That day, Gintoki wept.

That day, Shouyou felt a heavy feeling release him. It was replaced with determination.

The demon was four. Gintoki was eight.

* * *

“You should try to preserve the life you live as long as possible,” said Shouyou. “Don’t fight with disregard for your life.”

Gintoki looked up at his teacher, his master, his… father.

Shouyou continued, “Fight to strike down your weak self. Not your enemies, not your friends. Wield it to protect your soul--your life you have right now.”

Sometimes, Gintoki and Shouyou would continue to spar. Other times, they would retreat to make themselves food. Shouyou would cook--Gintoki would help. 

Shouyou never complained when Gintoki would approach him to sleep next to him.

The demon was four. Gintoki was ten.

* * *

More time passed and Gintoki eventually met two boys. Sleeping in a tree, he woke up to the loud sound of talking. Snotty and arrogant, Gintoki immediately knew that he would dislike the speaker. Gintoki thought to stay in the tree, but before he knew it, he had thrown the sword down at the ground.

Those actions changed the rest of his time with Shouyou.

At first, it was the short-haired boy. Starting as a dojo-challenger, Gintoki didn’t spare much thought. The boy kept returning, though. Coming back even with the injuries he obtained from the previous day. Somehow, this meeting eventually made him and the long-haired-boy join the school.

The demon was four, and Gintoki was happy. 

* * *

He died in the fire. Again.

People came to take Shouyou away, burning the school down in the process. Gintoki had fought them so hard, but a human had no chance. Instead, he was stabbed and thrown into the fire. Moments later, Gintoki stumbled out of the burning school, unscathed, his eyes burning crimson. He stepped forwards, prepared to fight when--

“Gintoki.”

The people who took Shouyou away glanced at each other, silently communicating.

“Promise me,” said Shouyou. “Even when I’m gone, you’ll protect everyone for me.”

As Shouyou disappeared into the distance, Gintoki was once again thrown into the fire, but this time, the people were watching him as he remained unscathed. Even when the flames licked his whole body, his clothes were the only thing that burned.

The demon appeared for a second. It was now thirteen. Gintoki was also thirteen.

The people eventually left him and his classmates replaced them. Their eyes widened at the burning building--and even more at the state of Gintoki’s yukata.

“What happened?” asked Katsura.

“Where’s Sensei?” Takasugi added. Both were urgent questions.

Gintoki coughed before saying, “Gone. He was… arrested.”

The students were outraged at the prospect of their teacher being taken away. How could he? Their teacher was the most righteous person out there.

“Gintoki,” whispered Katsura. He touched the ripped areas of his yukata, his hands directly on the area where he was stabbed. “There’s blood…”

“I’m not hurt,” Gintoki immediately said. “I’m not,” he stood up. “But we need to get Shouyou back. Who knows how long until he might get executed.”

* * *

“Shouyou… it’s okay, right? To turn into a demon to protect what’s precious to you.

“Shouyou… I miss you.

“Shouyou… I’m sorry.”

And.

“Shouyou… I’m scared.”

Takasugi and Katsura returned one day, talking about entering the war. 

“Sensei’s in the hands of the Bakufu,” Takasugi explained. “And there’s apparently a negotiation going on. If we join--”

“But at what cost?” Interrupted Gintoki. 

Gintoki didn’t want it to happen. He saw war. He died in a battle. He didn’t want them to see that, but…

“Everyone agreed to join, but you don’t have to.”

_“Promise me. Even when I’m gone, you’ll protect everyone for me.”_

In the first battle, Gintoki didn’t turn into a demon. He watched as his classmates emptied the contents of their stomach afterwards… and he watched as one of them looked at him.

“You’re used to it,” it wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

Gintoki didn’t say anything to the boy.

When Gintoki allowed the demon to wake once more, their battles were more wins than losses. The demon sang when it got a name. _Shiroyasha_ , it gleefully said.

Shiroyasha and Gintoki were the same people and at the same time, they were two different people.

Gintoki was strong, but Shiroyasha was stronger.

Gintoki had dull red eyes. Shiroyasha had bright red eyes.

One was kind, the other was ruthless.

One had color, the other was monochrome.

* * *

Three eventually became four. 

When Sakamoto laughed, the whole world brightened. Katsura’s was calmer, Takasugi was lighthearted, Gintoki was a human.

However, all things eventually end. The Bakufu betrayed them and they lost their supplies. Even with Sakamoto’s money, they were still behind on soldiers. More dying than recruited, they were obviously losing.

“We can ambush the ships that arrive--”

“How many enemies?”

“... The ship’s filled with weapons, food, and the Amanto.”

“The Bakufu?”

“They’re also going to be on the ship.”

There was a sigh. 

“Katsura, we’re desperate, but not _that_ desperate. We can’t afford to lose any more troops.”

“But--”

“The ambush would take many soldiers and most would die. If the plan fails… we lost our precious soldiers in a moment of desperation.”

“Still--”

“My mind will not be changed. Goodnight.”

Sakamoto wouldn’t be here for long, Gintoki knew. The man wanted to enjoy the stars. He wanted to be free from the war. That’s why…

“I’ll go. I’ll ambush alone.”

There was a scoff. “You’re the Shiroyasha. We can’t afford to lose you--”

“I’m not asking for permission,” Gintoki interrupted. “I’m telling you. That’s all.”

“That’s absurd! If we lose you, the war would--”

“And we would lose at this point too. Take your pick.”

He relented, giving Gintoki a simple flag. Fireworks would be too dangerous and there were no other communication tools.

“Raise this when you’re finished. If there’s more than one, use it on the mothership.”

Gintoki left when the sun began to rise. He was fifteen and Shiroyasha was also fifteen.

* * *

“Where’s Gintoki?” said Katsura. He looked around.

“He’s probably in the bathroom--”

“I checked,” Katsura interrupted. “He wasn’t there--he’s not here.”

Takasugi and Sakamoto looked up from whatever they were doing. This wasn’t a joke.

* * *

Gintoki arrived at the ship when the sun began to set, basking everything in gold. Bakufu guards and the Amanto surrounds the ship and Gintoki silently curses his bad luck.

A large ship--larger than he expected with not only one or two, but _five_ smaller ships. It was obvious that the ships were going to be used to crush all the ‘rebels’ as fast as possible. His eyes never left the canons on the ship even as night fell and the stars were lit. 

He moved.

Shiroyasha’s movements were swift and wasted no time. With darkness obscuring their view, no one noticed that everyone surrounding the ship was killed and the demon easily got on to the largest ship. Despite facing difficulties, he _danced_ in the blood. Twisting and turning, it wasn’t long before the people on the other ship began to notice what was happening. 

_“Don’t fight with disregard for your life.”_

_…_

_“I’m sorry.”_

He let himself be stabbed to destroy the enemies as fast as possible. Restricting the movements of the enemies, he made them unable to leave their ship to get to the mothership. 

Midnight arrived and he was on his third ship. 

He died five times.

On his fourth ship, he died another two times. 

On his fifth ship, he died two more times.

On the last ship, there was no cargo. Only soldiers. Gintoki died once and then blew the whole ship up.

This was the scene the soldiers saw.

* * *

The soldiers, including the commander, Katsura, Takasugi, and Sakamoto spotted the flag on the mothership but they stopped when they heard yelling.

The farthest ship--the battle seemed to be ongoing. Clashes were going on and the commander told everyone to back away when--

The ship exploded.

“Don’t tell me--”

“Don’t tell me that… that silver perm was on that ship,” Takasugi snapped. 

Sakamoto nervously laughed. “Maybe Kintoki exploded it on purpose?”

“The other ships were taken care of, apparently. Go to the largest one start the ship,” ordered the commander.

“Is the Shiroyasha dead?” one of them whispered.

Katsura glared at the soldier. He walked past them to catch up to Takasugi and Sakamoto. The three were silent and they avoided looking at the burning ship.

“We should get out of here as fast as possible,” said Sakamoto. “They’ll notice the fire soon.”

* * *

They were preparing to leave when there was a large sound from the burning ship. A large crash-- and then--

“Oi, it’s rude to leave people behind, you know.”

“Gintoki, you’re alive--”

Gintoki (was it really him?), in complete red. His clothes were red, his face was smeared with blood, his hair had clotted blood, his eyes were _bright red_ . Most of all, he was _burning_.

“Gintoki! Get the fire out before you burn!”

The tide turner for the war was also… when the three realized that Gintoki may have not been normal as they thought.

* * *

Gintoki didn’t hesitate when killing his teacher. 

He would be alive.

He would be okay.

_It’ll be fine._

But it didn’t stop the tears.

Still, he knew he wouldn’t be able to meet the man’s eyes. He had broken the promise. He became a demon. 

That’s why he left the war as soon as it ended. He wandered, doing nothing in particular until he met a man attempting to sell his daughter in exchange for his freedom.

He dies five more times in jail. Starvation and beaten to death.

“He’s a demon,” the guards said. “We haven’t fed him in _months_.”

They were right.

Gintoki is a corpse when an old lady visits her husband’s grave. He wakes up, though, and makes a promise.

This time, he won’t break it.

Shiroyasha is sixteen. Gintoki is seventeen.

* * *

The next time Gintoki dies, it’s less than a decade later. He dies under the hands of a disgusting alien. He was consumed and digested by it. He manages to slash his way out with a blunt wooden sword.

Gintoki’s arm was destroyed at some point when he was smashed into the wall and Kagura’s dad saw it. His eyes widened in shock as his arm slowly mended together as if there was never an injury, to begin with.

Apparently, Kagura’s mother was like him.

It makes it three now.

Shiroyasha is sixteen. Gintoki is twenty-five.

* * *

He dies under the hands of Benizakura and in the arms of Shinpachi. The boy panics as he carries the larger limp body to his house. Gintoki only wakes up when he’s finally patched up.

He _almost_ dies when fighting with Benizakura. The bandages are a pain to keep on when there aren’t any injuries under them. He thinks of taking it off and then--

_“He’s a demon.”_

_“He’s no son of mine.”_

And he stops.

“You never hesitated in killing him,” Katsura stated.

Gintoki looked away. “I never killed him and he’s not dead.”

Katsura sighed.

* * *

Gintoki--doesn’t exactly _die_ , but he used sandpaper to wipe his dump off. That’s still a secret, though. He’d rather not talk about that incident.

* * *

As much as he does it, Gintoki doesn’t like dying under the flames, much less an explosion. That takes quite a while to regenerate. Still, he does it anyway, burning when he crashes the helicopter. 

He hears cracks as his limbs realign themselves and his body mending himself back together.

Shiroyasha is still sixteen. Gintoki is twenty-five.

* * *

Umibozu once spoke about a son. He had two children. A son and a daughter. Gintoki only met his daughter until he entered Yoshiwara.

He never let Shiroyasha go on a rampage, no matter how many times he lost. 

Instead, he allowed himself to die. Two, three times, Gintoki continued to die. He hoped that his deaths weren’t noticed by anyone--especially by Kagura or Shinpachi. At least Housen was defeated. The man died when the roofs of Yoshiwara finally opened and Gintoki doesn’t notice the shrewd stare from Kagura’s older brother.

For some reason, the next time he visits, he dies once again after _insisting_ that he’s here for work. Stabbed and slashed open, he dies once, and then again after drowning. Embarrassing, isn’t it? He’s sure that the ninja heard the cracks, though. The sound of bones realigning and healing.

* * *

Gintoki wonders just how many times he has to die. He’s pretty sure that Shinpachi and Kagura suspect something at this point and he’s too tired to care. Is this how Shouyou felt when he continued to die and return to the land of the living?

He dies when he attacks Jirocho, harshly holding the chains of Shiroyasha back as he fights. He loses, of course--and he dies.

At least Otose was alright. 

He hoped his blood was enough for her to heal.

He was right.

He wakes up later than Otose, waking under the worrying eyes of his newfound family. He doesn’t know if they knew he was dead… but they don’t ask. 

He fought _with_ Jirocho that day and he was surprised that he didn’t die. Injured, yes, but not dead.

* * *

Gintoki dies under poison _three_ times. 

When he entered the castle, never had he thought that he would have to fight with the group that arrested Shouyou. The head of the group--Oboro seems to recognize him as he seems unsurprised when the poison needles that pierce him have no effects from the outside. On the inside, he died three times.

“A monster that howls for the heavens,” said Oboro. “How sad that you will eventually outlive everyone here.”

He feels Tsukuyo’s questioning stare and ignores it and fights Oboro instead, using his body that doesn’t die as a way to fight against him.

_“Don’t you want revenge?”_

Gintoki doesn’t fight the man in front of him. He fights the man in his mind; his alter persona. The chains are rusted and it wouldn’t take long for him to appear--but he’s trying. He’s trying to keep Shiroyasha from appearing once again.

* * *

Gintoki comes close to dying when he fights Takasugi.

“I knew you weren’t human,” whispered Takasugi. “Ever since that explosion.”

The cut on Gintoki’s wrist immediately healed, showing no marks of ever being there. However, Takasugi continued to attack and Gintoki let him, barely fighting back. 

“Why!” Takasugi yelled. “Why don’t you fight back? Why didn’t you fight back when Sensei was killed? Why… 

“Why did you kill him?”

Gintoki kicked Takasugi off of him, stumbling to stand upright. 

“I knew what he held dear,” Gintoki whispered. “I knew too well… of the precious things he loved.”

Gintoki doesn’t say that Shouyou was like him. He says nothing, but Takasugi knew everything. The man asked questions when he already knew the answer, only asking to confirm his discovery. He knew Takasugi understood that Shouyou held every student dear to him and…

“I haven’t been expelled yet, have I?”

He was never expelled. While in any normal situation, Takasugi would’ve been expelled, along with Gintoki, but Shouka Sonjuku wasn’t just a school to learn. A school to be expelled from. 

It was a family where no one was disowned.

* * *

Gintoki died when he was blasted by the crows. 

Yet, he survived.

Fighting head-to-head with the man who wore his teacher’s face, he knew; this man was Yoshida Shouyou… or his alter persona to be exact. Both disregarded their own lives to fight each other as their swords clashed.

“Of course,” said Utsuro. “A demon can only be killed by another demon,” he blocked a slice, kicking Gintoki into the wall.

Everything was still frozen when Gintoki appeared from the rubble, unscathed. 

“No,” said Gintoki. “A demon can only be killed by a human.”

Utsuro’s empty red eyes stared at the younger male.

“A human that turned into a demon, perhaps,” Utsuro agreed. “But not a demon born as a demon.”

In a clean slice, Gintoki was beheaded.

“Gin-chan!”

“Gin-san!”

“Danna!”

“Yorozuya!”

Cries for the silver-haired man rang out as large amounts of blood flow from the beheaded body. In a graceless ‘thump’, Gintoki’s dead body hit the ground.

_And the chains snapped._

“You haven’t told anyone, have you?” said Utsuro, pointing his sword at the headless body. “Your past, your condition, _anything_. Why don’t you get up?”

He easily blocked the kick from the vermillion-haired girl, throwing her off to the side. 

Utsuro continued. “I could kill everyone here if you don’t wake up,” he glanced at Kagura. “How about we start with her?”

And this time, the fight truly began.

“Go,” said Gintoki in between clashes. “I’ll hold him off. _Go_.”

“Gin-chan--”

“Kagura, I’ll be fine… I’m always fine.”

Reluctantly, everyone began to head to the ship, leaving Gintoki with Utsuro. No, _Shiroyasha_ with Utsuro. With Shiroyasha, their skills were almost equal, if not a little weaker than Utsuro--but it was still stronger than when he fought as Gintoki.

Utsuro suddenly stopped mid-slice to look up at the sky. He smiled.

“Go home,” said Utsuro. He tenderly grabbed his chin. “My son.”

Shiroyasha was twenty-five. Gintoki was also twenty-five.

“Gintoki,” said Katsura. “When you told me that he wasn’t dead, I didn’t believe you.”

Gintoki scoffed. “Who would believe me? I killed him in front of you.”

Katsura smiled. “That’s different. You told me that you didn’t kill him.”

“...”

“That day of the explosion during the war, you know how scary it was?” asked Katsura. He paused, then continued, “An explosion right in front of our eyes and you were nowhere to be found on any of the other ships.”

“And then I appeared,” Gintoki added.

Katsura nodded. “And you appeared right on the deck. You were in red head-to-toe and your eyes--Gintoki, we always used to joke that your eyes resembled a dead man. Back then, it looked more like a--”

“A demon, right?” 

“Your burning clothes didn’t help anything, either. You were in red, burning right in front of our eyes, and you smiled like nothing was wrong…” Katsura hesitated. “How many times have you died?”

Gintoki sharply inhaled. “I stopped counting at twenty-nine,” he replied.

There was no confrontation back then, but the question remained. Who was Sakata Gintoki and how is he alive? A man who was beheaded in front of them who came back. It could’ve been a dream… but the scar on his neck said anything but. It was a thin but noticeable scar on his neck that looked like death chained him.

He began to cover his neck with a bandage afterward.

* * *

Gintoki died numerous times on the planet of Rakuyou. 

The fight with Kamui began well. They were simply… fighting, but then Kamui went berserk. He crushed Gintoki’s skull, snapped his neck, destroyed his whole body, but _he never died._ Regenerated slower, perhaps, but he never died.

Umibozu watched with one eye as Kamui continued to kill Gintoki, failing to do so every time. Gintoki kept on getting up, creating more openings for Kamui to kill him. At this point, the possibility of Gintoki actually dying seems higher. Gintoki’s using up much of his Altana and he sees that he’s running out of it. His regenerations were getting slower and slower and he feared that it might stop.

Kamui stopped, however, falling unconscious on his sister’s lap.

That’s how the battle ended.

**Author's Note:**

> Might or might not continue with another oneshot connected to this AU. Maybe one where Gintoki explains things for once?
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this because I wrote this in an hour and didn't even bother rereading this


End file.
